Things I have learned from Hot Or Not

September 23rd, 2004

BOBFOCs* aside, non-descript folk on Hot Or Not get high scores by either wearing a uniform or holding a cute animal or baby. As illustrated by Fig. 1 (left), even I am nowhere near as attractive as Simon Weston in a fireman’s helmet holding a puppy (I created his picture for the purposes of this experiment).
Let’s have a big hand for Jeremy Beadle! He’s “hotter” than me, too. Just ask the vox populi. Looking on the bright side, I’m “hotter” than Maxine Carr, although I do have similar problems with lynch mobs and hair conditioner.

I personally believe I’m 30% hotter when dressed as Jesus and playing a harmonica. I don’t have statistical proof of this as they took the photo down. I was dressed as Jesus because I was at a party whose theme was “Sources of Light”. My Spanish friend Salva went as a pregnant woman, because the Spanish word for “pregnant” is similar to their word for “light”, or something. He didn’t bother to shave. He did look kind of hot, but not as hot as me. I was playing “Oh, Susannah”, by the way.
* Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch