It pays to increase your word power #2

August 9th, 2005

It pays to increase your word power. But you must prune the deadwood before the shrub of your vocabulary can grow.

“It goes without saying that…”: Let your flimsy generalisations rot in paralepsis.

“It’s what I like to call…”: Don’t pollute my impressionable mind with your radical world view.

“…do you know what I mean?”: No, I do not know what you mean by making the blandest and least provocative statement I have ever heard, and then following it up with that phrase which is an echo of the universal and futile yearning for recognition and security, like blind Hamm calling out for Clov, or Edward Furlong or-hor-hordering Arnie not to go-ho, or a mental patient waiting for the therapist’s indulgent nod. Don’t talk like a Sphinx with Down’s syndrome. Cut out all the rote, all the scripted, all the bits you know by heart but only feel by art. Do not droop on the crutches of your stock favourite intimations, like a dead, dusty Dali. Do not wear your gimmicks on your sleeve, like a Brownie. “I have my Pals with Idlewild Badge”; “I have my Daddy Touched Me Badge”; “I have my Rude Piercing Badge”; “I made a peg doll”. Unpick all your badges and discover the bits in between (or even better, underneath). You’ll be surprised at how popular you become. The bits in between often include listening, and asking non-rhetorical questions. Bo-oring!