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zombies
February 23rd, 2006
Shortly after a zombie apocalypse, there is always all A4 photocopying paper all over the streets. Why is this? Two recent examples are the opening scenes from 28 Days Later and the final scene from Resident Evil. Mrs Rockets suggests that once the humans have fled, the zombies go looking through filing cabinets in the abandoned offices, searching for “braaaains” under “b”. When they are confounded in their toil, they become angry and strew blank paper across the streets. A compelling theory. But there is another, more basic question about zombies which I wish to resolve.
Obviously, each zombie film has different rules. And let’s draw a veil over the “Zombie Survival Guide”. Ponky has made an excellent “Zombie Food Chain” diagram. But I demand a little consistency and clarification. Let’s bounce some brains off each other and consider the following. It’s a very simple question.
Can zombies eat one another for sustenance? What about animals? If not, how long do they take to starve? Dare99 observes, “I bet the korean ones did [eat dogs]. Eating each other would just lead to a single big fat zombie on each island.”
Hnnngh! *shuffle* Send… more… theories!
I’m reminded by your food-chain diagram that an excellent riposte to “It tastes rather like chicken, actually …” (i.e. crocodile, frogs’ legs, snail, ostrich etc.) is “No, more like owl, I think..”
I was thinking of you the other day, as I walked along the side of the tram tracks to the train station in Sheffield. A couple of packs of A4 had fallen off the back of a lorry and burst on the road below, scattering paper everywhere.
Well, I say everywhere, it was raining, so the paper had mostly been crushed into the tarmac like the foil wrapping on a bar of nutty chocolate. There weren’t any zombies, either. Just queuing cars, and a laughing lorry driver. Actually, maybe he was the zombie.
Coo, well, there you go. I’m beginning to wish I hadn’t posted this, as it’s not turned out quite how I wanted, but, hey, you know. The thought was there. I hope your birthday party was more fun than my journey to work, anyway.
Did you ever resolve the paper mystery?