Our team of top relationshipologists has created this questionnaire to help you understand why you are still with your boyfriend after three weeks, in this fickle new minellium filled with temptations, such as secretive “cyber-mating”, contraception available to twelve year old girls no-questions-asked, and Rohypnol (I drink this for breakfast and still manage to punch [...]
I once sent an extract from this book to Willo, thinking he might find it funny. Willo’s response was as follows:
He’s a fucking paedophile. Some of the greatest minds in the world were idle. Dick. It ranks up there with ‘Smoking Grass can’t rob you of your ambition, if all you want to [...]
My uncle Peter died. He had a voice like Alan Rickman and he was very prickly and rude, very dry and sly, and fucking funny. He looked Byronic and wore a heavy silver bracelet. He thought the Bodyform advert was funny and he used to scream “Waaah, Bodyform!” in the cafe where he waited for [...]
Yesterday morning I picked up “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”, perhaps mistaking the photo of tousle-haired Nicholson for my hand-mirror. I’ve been reading it during bus rides and ad breaks. Of all my old favourites, why did I turn to this in my morning haze? The early chapters log in to [...]
Lovely Saturday night courtesy of the gracious and mellifluous Pablo Honey (pictured, right, sharing a joke). Named after Steve Meretzky’s RPG, Hoboken are a smart little faction of do-gooders. User-friendly and highly accessible. Jonathan Carr (pictured, left, wearing a Crimson Tape) leads a respectable League of Ordinary Gentlemen. Engaging Vic Reeves/Mike Patton [...]
BOBFOCs* aside, non-descript folk on Hot Or Not get high scores by either wearing a uniform or holding a cute animal or baby. As illustrated by Fig. 1 (left), even I am nowhere near as attractive as Simon Weston in a fireman’s helmet holding a puppy (I created his picture for the purposes of [...]
All boys should watch this so that they can find out what girls – especially feminists – want from men. I mean it. Forget nonce-boys like Noah Wyle and Orlando Bloom. I must be gay, though, ’cause the millionth time pug-faced Ruffalo said “pussy” I was praying for Richie Gecko to come [...]
This is a cover I made for Jimbo B’s sky diving journal. His likes include wearing green velvet suits, and sky-diving. Preferably both at the same time!!!!!1!
This weekend I mostly went to birthday parties, and watched flims with Drinky Crow, who was enraged at Chakotay’s performance in Night of the Comet. Hopping [...]
Fit the Third: In which I mine for gold, and then put on a show right here in the barn.
We’re at 12 Bar on Denmark Place. Tam buys me a bacon roll and we try to spot the lizards David Icke warned us about in his book. It looks like we’re pretty [...]
EPCOT photos here. More to come.
Fit the First: In which I journey from the World’s End to Mornington Crescent.
Don’t haul my luggage off the train, old lady! Stop, let me explain! Look, there’s your bag, no need to whine (please note it looks fuck all like mine).
The World’s [...]