July 8th, 2007
I also reviewed 3 Doctor Who episodes yesterday, but I didn’t know what I was talking about so you’re not seeing that.
“The Abandoned” is cool, but the twist in the tale (just before the snake eats it) will have you vexed and shaking your fist, and the final voiceover may inspire you to kick summat. Do watch it and let me know if you agree, or whether I am missing something… Oh, gosh, that wasn’t my review. Click “continue” to see the official 250 words.
July 3rd, 2007
Today I invented a list of pretend bumper stickers, although I can’t take credit for “Honk” and “Baby”, and “Mewl” is a private joke for a chum.
June 28th, 2007
This is the review I sent to the Cambridge Film Festival Daily hoping that they would let me write for them. I saw “The Prestige” at the drive-in with my sweetheart. We couldn’t get the radio tuned in for the first fifteen minutes or so, and by the time we could hear the film there was still an undeniable tree blocking our view. I wanted to test myself by reviewing something at random, and to a deadline. The finished product made me feel like a twat, but then again all reviews sound a bit smug. If you want to see my practice review, read on. Remember – I didn’t actually see half of the fucker.
January 21st, 2007
I’ve been wondering if I’ve been sinning. I don’t do lust any more; I used to a lot. Wiki: “Dante’s criterion was ‘excessive love of others’, thereby detracting from the love due to God”. I met a Quaker recently; I’ve decided I’m a Quaker, and to me “love due to God” translates as love due to the syrup in my headporridge, e.g. my quiddity, and so no, I don’t do that any more, and speaking of Dante, Clerks 2 is rubbish. They all have double chins and are less funny. I know people get double chins and less funny when they turn 30. I know.
December 20th, 2006
8 hours: an hour for each year I have been alive, but the anticipation makes the train journey feel worthwhile. Daddy has given Harry and me little imitation leather autograph books, so that we can collect autographs from the other passengers. Mine is black – I always make sure I get the best colour when we are given matching presents. The pages in both are in different pastel shades with gold edges, and the cover clops open and shut in a satisfying way. Daddy explains the difference between “signature” and “autograph” to us, and we pinball down the aisles in different directions. I get signatures from Gracie Fields and Marilyn Monroe, two laughing old ladies.
February 23rd, 2006
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flip turned upside down
Now I’d like to take a minute, to spit some rhymes
About how I went outside and I was quite some time.
